I work with a lot of women (and a handful of men) entrepreneurs. They’re experts, overqualified and amazing at what they do – yet I see self-doubt and imposter syndrome almost cripple them into walking away and giving up before they even start! Often times people sign up to work with me because they want a marketing strategy, tech support and step-by-step instructions on how to grow an audience. I give them that. What I also do is become a champion for who they are and what they have to offer. Having the confidence to step out, rise up and become the leader with a real voice in the world.
Here are 5 Ways To Empower Yourself based on the work I’ve done as a business coach over the past three years.
Guard your thoughts
The way you feel is in direct relation to the thoughts you’re having in your head. If you’re feeling anxious about going live on camera, for example, it’s because of what you’re thinking is going to happen. Become aware of the narrative in your head. What stories are you telling yourself over and over again that simply aren’t true and haven’t happened yet? The FEAR aka False Evidence Appearing Real can be changed by asking yourself better questions. What if this does work? What if this goes well? What if I make an impact on even one person’s life today – would that be worth it?
Fill your mind with the right stuff
I purposely don’t watch terrestrial TV or have cable or satellite of any kind. The only thing we do have is Netflix and we watch 1 to 1.5hrs maximum in the evening. We pick one really good series that we watch start to finish (no 5 hour binge-watch marathons!) and a good comedy. The news is full of scaremongering and negativity. Trust me, if something big enough happens you’ll find out about it on Facebook! I love audio books. I suggest you open an Audible account which allows you to pay a monthly or yearly fee for credits and this way you can get through at least 2 personal development or business related audio books each month. Listening at x 1.25 the speed will get you through the book a little faster. Instead of mindlessly putting the radio on when you drive, set up your audiobook on speaker and listen while you do the school-run or drive to the shops. Ted Talks or YouTube can be great for sourcing inspiring content. I love anything by Mel Robbins and Gary Vee.
Who are your peeps?
Jim Rohn said “You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With” and I couldn’t agree more. The way I’ve been able to generate consistent 5-Figure months in my business, charge $6000 for private coaching and $19 000 for a full personal brand creation project in the Seychelles, is because I’ve had it modelled for me. I didn’t grow up in an area or household that illustrated this for me at all. My mom worked for a low-paid wage at the SPCA and my Dad worked in the government municipality as Chief Plan Examiner. These roles were in no way entrepreneurial – quite the opposite! If your family or circle of friends don’t offer inspiration for you (and frankly, they shouldn’t have too) it’s up to you to find the right people. Join a group program, mastermind or work 1:1 with a coach. If you can’t do that, immerse yourself in free content (there are plenty of Podcasts out there) and try out networking in your industry, until you build your business up to a point where you can invest. My business catapulted when I took the leap and worked with a high-level coach and joined group programs.
Don’t make your partner your journal
It can be so tempting to offload all of your worries, doubts and fears onto your other half. The entrepreneurial journey is a rollercoaster ride. There’ll be big months and zero months. Lot’s of clients (OMG, how will I handle them all!) and times when it feels like you’re shouting into an echoey void with nothing but crickets and tumbleweed. That’s business. You have to be in it for the long game. Hit the journal, not your loved one, with all the “crazy” that’s coming up for you. Get it out. Write, write and write some more. Let it flow, including the negative thoughts and things you’re shaking in your boots about. Then, sit with it. Ask better questions again. How can YOU solve this, without rushing off to your BFF, husband or wife to chew their ear off? Empower yourself. The answers are within.
Reach out for help
Once you’ve done step 4 and really worked through it yourself first, then it’s time to reach out for help. Pick a business bestie or turn to your coach if you have one. Approach the problem from an empowered place rather than from victim mode. Things aren’t happening to you, they happen for and through you. Don’t approach them with a blaming mentality or a “poor-me” one either. You’re an adult, you got yourself into this situation through deliberate decisions you’ve made. Nobody else is to blame.
Get help, apply solutions and take action from your new empowered state.
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